Behavior

As your children grow older, they are going to rock their way into the ‘terrible twos’ and ‘troublesome threes’. They are going to start asserting their independence, developing their own personalities, and testing their limits. What this often manifests as is behavior that we as parents can sometimes struggle with. If you are ever finding yourself needing outside help for your child’s behaviors, never forget that I am an Early Childhood Consultant, here to help if you need it. Want to know more about what I do? You can read about it here.

Habits

Over the next few years, your child is going to develop by leaps and bounds. They are going to learn how to be tiny adults in so many ways. Again, these first five years of your child’s life are some of the most important of their entire lives. They are going to learn how to walk, talk, sleep, eat, and even poop. Okay, I guess they already knew how to do that last one, but on purpose and in the toilet would be the end goal there I suppose.

Sleeping

I start with sleep because if your child isn’t sleeping through the night in a way that works for you by now, you are probably exhausted. Many parents seek help on how to get their children to sleep through the night, and I can’t blame them. Anything more than 6 months of not sleeping through the night (Link coming April, 2022) is way too long.

If you haven’t already decided what sleep hygiene in your household looks like, it’s time to find out. Do you want to co-sleep? Do you want your children to be able to sleep without you? Think about bed time as well. How long does it take, and is that working for you? Don’t forget that you aren’t the only person in your family that is part of this decision making process too. If you have a partner, make sure they feel they can weigh in on your decision, since having a kiddo in bed can certainly destroy sexy time opportunities.

Once you have decided what sleep at your house looks like, it’s time to start moving towards that if you haven’t already. Of course, you can always change and readjust (says the mama who has a 4-year-old and a 2-year-old in her bed and just started dating again!). But make sure that whatever you decide, you stay consistent with it and only adjust intentionally. If you don’t want to co-sleep, it can’t be okay some nights and not okay other nights. This will only serve to confuse your child.

Need help with sleep? Yeah, I’m a sleep consultant too. Check out my packages here.

Potty Training

Alright, let’s jump into potty training! Sometime after your child turns one and ideally before they go to kindergarten, they are going to learn to use the toilet. As a thrifty mama, I was always excited when this happened because it meant no more diapers. But don’t force your child to potty train if they aren’t ready. Pushing them early is just going to result in more tears, frustration, and loads of laundry than is really worth it. Wait for signs of readiness and then start to potty train. If you are asking how early you can potty train your child, you are asking the wrong question.

Now once you have waited for your child to be ready, potty training can actually be really easy. Sometimes it’s as simple as buying underwear together, or running around the house for a few days without a diaper. Whatever method you decide to take, make sure you are ready for it as well as your partner and child. Also, if your kiddo goes to childcare, you want to loop them into the process too.

Eating

Okay, I never thought much about eating because my kids like to eat. Maybe even too much (they are their mother’s children after all). So while I’ve always had to get creative with things like vegetables, I always feel adequately confident they are getting enough food. However, I have been working with a client lately whose kiddo is putting my skills and knowledge to the test.

Your child should be eating 3 meals and a snack every day with you. Ideally, these meals are nutritionally balanced with protein, vegetables, and some fruit. Now one of these days I swear I’m going to create a cheat book full of menus and grocery lists. Since it isn’t happening anytime soon though, you’re on your own for a bit. Take the time to plan meals for you and your family, and maybe even invite your child to go shopping with you, or to help you cook.

So back to that kiddo who has been challenging me lately. I must say, eating comes with a whole host of problems and pressures. As someone who struggles with her own eating disorder, I am very aware of how scary it can feel as a parent to have the dreaded… Picky Eater. Because let’s be honest, it isn’t about the fact that they don’t like some foods. It’s a gut wrenching worry that they aren’t getting the proper nutrition and thus aren’t going to be healthy. Darling, I feel this. If you need some tips about how to avoid a picky eater, you can check out my blog about it here.

Independence

We’ve spoken about routine before, and how important it is to create and maintain your routine. This routine helps build a boundary for your child. It gives them an idea of what to expect through the day or week. I actually find that most behaviors can be managed by setting a routine. You see, over these next few years, your child just wants to learn who they are and where they belong in the world. They want to know what is safe and what they are allowed to do.

You know that boundary testing phase? It’s completely normal and healthy! Your child is learning from testing those boundaries. They are learning what is safe, what they can get away with, how different adults respond. It’s actually an incredibly healthy stage for them to explore in. As the parent, it is your job to set healthy boundaries and stick with them. Everyone needs boundaries, including adults.

In fact, children are going to be learning how to set boundaries as well. Because right along with the stage where they test your boundaries, they also set their own. How does this manifest? Why, by them telling you “No”, of course. Over and over again, all the time. And sometimes it is frustrating and can make us angry. But for a child, it is incredibly empowering.

Choices

One way to easily let children assert their independence is by giving them choices. The choices to have a say over little, simple decisions in their life. Things like their clothes should be accessible to them, so they can pick out their own attire every day. Even offering them simple choices such as the blue cup or the red cup can help offer them some control in a world where they have very little power.

Sometimes a choice can be the easiest way to handle a difficult situation with your child. For example, they can either brush their teeth or put on their pajamas first. Or sometimes it’s a choice that isn’t really a choice. This can be something like they can wash their hands before dinner, or they can sit down until they are ready to wash their hands. In a hurry? It can be a consequences choice such as you can walk to the car, or I can carry you to the car. Offer your child a choice as often as possible.