Updated October, 2022
Some time has passed and you might be considering trying for a second baby. Or maybe you are already pregnant with your new little nugget. Either way, deciding to have another baby is a big step. Having a baby comes with some many amazing, first time experiences. Then baby gets a little older and you start to ask yourself, “Do I want to have a second baby?”. This type of questions is not an easy one to answer. Deciding to have a second child is a deeply personal decision. I can’t answer it outright, but I can give you tips for the second baby, should you decide to have one. Because your children are only young once, so let’s make the best of it!
There are a lot of factors that go into deciding when to have another baby. Some people wait until their child is in Kindergarten (who can afford daycare for two?) others decide they want to have their children close together*. Whatever you decide, just be sure you are making the right decision for your family.
*Warning: I have heard so many stories about families struggling to get pregnant with their first child, so they start right away trying to get pregnant with their second, thinking it will take another year or two, and they get pregnant right away. This story happens a LOT. So if you had a hard time conceiving your first bundle of joy, don’t feel like you have to rush into your second.
So you’ve decided to have your second baby and are carrying them now. After talking with a lot of second (or more) time moms and in my own experience, there seems to be a few big differences between the first child and the second. It isn’t that you aren’t worried or you don’t care as much the second time around as you did the first. But where your first child was your only focus while you were pregnant, the second one almost takes a back seat to the living, breathing human running around in front of you every day.
My point is, a lot of women I talked to felt like they struggled to feel connected to their second child, especially while they were still pregnant. First of all, if you are feeling this way, know you aren’t alone. It’s hard to focus on a baby inside you when you have one running around and demanding your attention. And second of all, try some of the below tips to help you feel closer to the growing bundle you are carrying.
5 Tips to Help You Feel Closer to Your Second Baby
1. Set Up Their Space
Even if your child doesn’t get their own room or you don’t have a lot of stuff for them, setting up a space for them can help with that nesting instinct and help you get excited.
2. Sing, Read, and Talk to Them
I know this sounds silly, but these little ways of communicating and acknowledging them can help you feel closer. You can invite your partner or other loved ones to connect in this same way.
3. Get an Ultrasound
I think ultrasounds are pretty common these days. But even if you don’t need one, getting one can let you see a sneak peak of your new bundle of joy.
4. Read a Pregnancy Book
This is especially true if you read pregnancy books for your first child. Pick up one you have never read before and treat it as though you don’t know the experiences already. Let it guide you and get you excited.
5. Talk About Names
I know picking out names in advance can be a mixed bag for some. But taking the time to talk about a name or two can help make this little person real for you.
Hopefully, you are starting to get just as excited about this baby as you were for your first. No matter where you are in your process, congratulations.
