Updated December, 2020
Every person I’ve ever met considers themselves an expert on being pregnant. This expert advice comes from individuals who have and have not had children. Below is the worst and best pregnancy advice I’ve been given this pregnancy.
The Worst
1. Eat Whatever You Want
I believe this advice stems from the myth that pregnant women are eating for two. Now don’t get me wrong, when I was in the miseries of my first trimester and throwing up 10 or more times a day, yeah, I was eating whatever I wanted. But that was really in an effort to keep anything down. And you know what? The crap food, like the cookies and ice cream, always made me feel worse than if I just ate plain leaves like a little rabbit.
Once I was no longer sick all the time (so about week 25 in my first pregnancy and 32 in my second…), I no longer had that excuse. I have a lot of opinions about eating and restricting food intake anyway, but being pregnant is not an excuse. Quality is important, especially when growing a baby. The obesity rate in the United States has more than tripled since the 1970s (Center for Disease Control and Prevention). This addiction to sugar and penchant for poor eating starts as early as the womb.
This isn’t to say I don’t eat any junk food. When I want a bowl of ice cream, I will eat it. But it’s not all I’m eating, and I had better not be blaming my sugar intake on my baby.
2. Don't Exercise
This one surprised me, since it went against all of my inner logic. Yes, there were a lot of activities I couldn’t do anymore, such as horseback riding and rock climbing. But cutting out pretty much all exercise would have probably driven me crazy. Exercise is my way of relaxing, and it makes me feel better. If I’m tired, grumpy, stressed, or sore, exercising will likely help change that. Even just this last week, I was grumpy for no good reason. An hour of hard yoga later (everyone told me I should only do pre-natal yoga), I felt centered and uplifted.
Exercise is proven to improve mood. It will keep you fit for giving birth and might even help prevent you from pushing an irritating coworker into traffic. I’ve climbed a 14er, kept up with a regular yoga practice, and continued to get my steps (almost) every day. All of this has helped me stay fit and healthy. Everyone, pregnant or otherwise, should aim to get 30 minutes a day.
3. Stay Off Your Feet
4. Take a Nap Everyday
To start, I just have to say, I’ve always found people who take 30 minute naps fascinating. If I lay down for a nap, I’m not getting up feeling refreshed in 20-30 minutes. My naps are 2.5 hours and they always have been. This means between work, my commute, and a nap, I would literally not have any additional time in my day for anything else. Also, who are these people who have 30 minutes in the middle of their day to take a nap? I’m certainly not about to tell my boss that I’m going to take a nap in the middle of my work day.
I probably end up taking a nap about once every other week currently. It’s usually on a Saturday or Sunday (pre-pregnancy was about once per month), and I will just fall asleep and wake up a few hours later feeling fully refreshed. I find keeping a regular sleeping schedule every night is more vital and helpful than sleeping in the middle of my day.
5. Prepare for Strange Cravings
I’m not sure where the desire for pickles in any person comes from (seriously, they look and smell and taste disgusting). So when people told me I should gear up to have weird cravings, it only made my stomach turn. In this entire pregnancy, I haven’t wanted a single pickle (and imagine that will not change ever in my life). I didn’t crave onion rings and milk shakes and I haven’t been stuffing my mouth full of ice chips (a sign of iron deficiency).
If anything, I’ve had a lot of food aversions, which was a lot less surprising to me. But these food cravings I was supposed to have never hit me. Also, it needs to go on the record that I love junk food. I have always loved junk food. I’m probably crazy addicted to sugar at this point in my life. So the whole “cravings” for junk food caused by Monster is bull. Any time anyone so much as tries to suggest that the cookie I’m about to buy has anything to do with my baby, I set them straight. Being pregnant is not an excuse to eat crap food.
6. Don't Sleep on Your Back
I got this advice as early as 14 weeks. The problem? Sleeping on my back was the most comfortable way for me to sleep. What was more, at 14 weeks, you still really couldn’t even tell that I was pregnant. So why couldn’t I sleep on my back? The reasoning is simple; there is a major vein that returns blood from your lower body to your heart. Lying on your back causes the uterus to press on that vein and can affect blood flow as well as oxygen and nutrients to the baby. Except this wasn’t a problem for me at 14 weeks. In fact, I still find myself sleeping on my back for at least 1/3 of the night.
Sleep, in any form, is more important to me. If I wasn’t getting adequate blood flow, I would wake up. If I was doing damage to Monster, I would wake up. I’m not feeling dizzy or uncomfortable. When I do feel uncomfortable, I wake up and roll to one side or the other. Making a huge deal out of sleeping on your back only causes unnecessary concern, stress, and loss of sleep.
7. Don't Use Soap During Your Showers
This one is weird for me and probably always will be. Don’t get me wrong, I am totally a hippy that is only taking a shower a few times per week anyway. When I do shower though, I want good, old fashioned bar soap and I scrub my body clean. Everyone warns me that if I use soap during my showers though, that I’m going to get dry skin. I live in Colorado, so they probably aren’t wrong. I would rather suffer a little dry skin than not get adequately clean. This one was an obvious one for me to ignore.
8. Buy Maternity Clothes Early
The Best
1. Don't Stress Too Much
With everyone giving me advice and their opinions, it was quickly overwhelming. Add that to regularly being told how miserable it was to have children and it was easy to start getting wrapped up in all the potential complications, anything that could go wrong, and good god what if I really was just a terrible parent?
Worrying and stressing over all the “what ifs?” was pointless though. It amazes me how often people focus on the miseries of having children and not on the joys of it. Seriously, we have this weird hazing culture around parenting and I’m not sure it serves any purpose. Taking a deep breath and letting the stress go has done wonders for my psyche and my pregnancy.
2. Indulge in that Delicious Sushi
When I first found out I was pregnant I got a list of all the food I wasn’t supposed to eat. It was a stupid long list. No fish high in mercury, nothing raw, no hot dogs, no lunch meat. At one point I was even told not to eat melons. Melons! You name it; I probably wasn’t supposed to eat it. For me, the most depressing aspect of this list was that I wasn’t supposed to eat was sushi. To say I like sushi would be an understatement. I get most of my protein and almost all my servings of fish from sushi. It is delicious.
There are risks of food poisoning or listeria or mercury in most of our meats and foods, which is why pregnant women are warned away from it. Giving up sushi was just asking too much. I missed it too much. So, I got the okay. As long as my sushi came from a trusted source, raw or not, I could indulge. And you know what, I always feel better after having it.
3. Figure Out Maternity Leave Early On
This one flowed pretty naturally with the type of person I am. I started thinking and talking about maternity leave even before I was out of my first trimester. Did I want to return to work? Could we afford to return to work (school is crazy expensive). How much time did I want off? What was our parental leave policy?
It took some time, but I ended up putting together a leave request that I really liked. I felt it would support my transition back into work, which would make me successful in staying at my job, and provided a good balance for the type of person I am. With my leave request ready, I had the opportunity to process it with my supervisor as well as Human Resources. We worked out a lot of kinks and ultimately came up with a resolution I truly believe will work well for me. This meant that for at least a full half to a third of my pregnancy, I didn’t have to worry about maternity leave or stress over those details. It feels nice to have it out of the way already.
4. Drink Water
Water is a must. Especially here in Colorado. Before I even eat, I usually have a glass of water. Yes, I know this is good advice even when you aren’t pregnant. But it seems extra essential now. I easily consume more than 64 ounces of water by 6:00pm. Yes, if Monster moves just right I have to go to the bathroom right now as a result, but it’s worth it. Staying hydrated has helped me keep energy, digest my food, and process toxins out of my body. It’s obvious, but a good reminder all the same.
5. It's Okay to Worry
This may seem contradictory to good advice point #1, but it kind of goes right along with it. I think it’s normal to worry about things. The big and the little. Having a baby is a huge change, and it’s okay that sometimes we might waver on our path or not feel sure. Let yourself worry and think about these things and if you have someone to process these things with, even better.
I was secretly worried about postpartum depression and for absolutely no reason. My mom brought it up really naturally once, and said it might happen, and then told me that was okay. She had no idea that I was worried about it (except perhaps in that super secret special mom way that she seems to intuitively know everything). The worry was acknowledged and accepted. It still might happen, as any worry might, but now I feel like it’s okay. I’ve had a chance to process it, and if something does happen, I feel more capable of handling it now.
6. Surround Yourself with Positive Affirmations
I love positive affirmations. I think self talk really has an effect on how you feel about yourself and what your experiences will be like. So reminding yourself every day that you are beautiful, capable, powerful, and blessed can be really great. I even write little reminders on my mirrors. These are just little things, but they are important to create a positive mindset both in life and specifically through pregnancy.
7. Listen to Your Body
Women have been giving birth to babies for years. This process isn’t new, but the experience may be new for you personally. Your body knows what it can and cannot do. If you shouldn’t do yoga, your body will tell you. If you need to eat more protein, your body will tell you (this is often misunderstood as a craving for sugar though, just FYI). If your body is telling you to sleep, listen to it. Everyone’s terrible advice stems from something, just take it if it is what your body is telling you is right for you.
8. Ignore Everyone's Advice
If there is one thing I have learned from all these pregnancy stories, it is that every pregnancy is vastly different. What one person needs or wants or craves or experiences in their pregnancy is going to be different from the next person. Their wonderful opinions and advice come from their pregnancies and their experiences. With each experience being so different though, a lot of it won’t apply. So politely thank every individual for their input and if it doesn’t work for you, just ignore it.
Medical Disclaimer
All of the information on this site assumes that the individual is in good physical and mental health, and that her pregnancy was without risk factors or complications. Web site content is for informational purposes only and is not intended to offer medical advice, or replace the recommendations of your doctor, midwife, or physical therapist. Always consult your doctor before beginning any exercise program.
