Is a Birth Doula Right for You?

Is a Birth Doula Right for You?
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Updated December, 2020

Years ago, when we all lived in communities, no woman ever gave birth alone. Now, many of us lack communities to lean upon and women in our lives who can help guide and support us in giving birth. A Birth Doula can be that person for you. Find out more about what a birth doula does and decide if you want one by your side when you give birth too.

When I was pregnant with my second child, I ended up in the hospital due to complications. My midwife transitioned into my birth doula and was with me for every moment. I cried, I was angry, and I felt cheated of the experience I had wanted. My midwife reminded me of all the things I wanted for my birth and offered me windows to speak up for myself. When I cried and blamed myself, she cried with me and reassured me it wasn’t my fault. My midwife team, which turned into my birth doula team, helped me feel in control of a situation that felt like it was spiraling out.

A birth doula is a non-medical professional that assists and supports you leading up to and during birth. Many midwives naturally double as a birth doula because they have extensive training in birth support. A birth doula will be present at your birth, helps advocate for the birth you want, offer comfort measures during birth, and offer emotional support. A birth doula is not a medical professional and will not perform clinical tasks. They are meant to help you have the birth experience that you want.

I have heard all sorts of birth stories. I’ve read extensively about birth and women’s experiences. I have studied birth and pregnancy and act as a birth doula myself. The statistics show that the more empowered a woman feels about her birth, even when things don’t go as planned, the more positive she feels about the whole experience years down the line. This is important for women’s long term health. Hopefully you have exactly the birth you want though and a birthing doula can help.

Advocating for you and with you is one of the primary jobs of a birth doula. They help explore what kind of birth you want in advance and ask you guiding questions to give you an opportunity to think about things you might not have otherwise considered. Whether you want a medication free birth or an epidural as soon as possible, they will be there to remind you of what you want. Your doula should never speak on your behalf, but ask questions and check in with you regularly. 

Regardless of your view on an epidural or any other pain relieving medication during labor, there is a good chance you will end up feeling at least some of your contractions. A birthing doula can help provide you with comfort measures. Depending on how you are giving birth (vaginal vs. cesarean), they can offer you food and other physical comforts like that. Other comfort measures they can help with include touch, relaxation techniques, vocalization, holding space, and more.

A doula can also crowd control and people direct a little bit. I really appreciated that my doula reminded my partner to eat and sleep. He was so concerned about me and the baby, he needed a gentle reminder to take care of himself as well. This way I had one less thing to worry about and my partner was still cared for. I’ve also heard plenty of stories about women who wanted their in-laws or even their own parents to leave but didn’t feel comfortable or focused enough in that moment to express their desire. A birth doula can gently remind extra guests to leave.

Overall, a birth doula is there to help you have the birthing experience you want. Whether it is your first child or your fifth child, I believe this extra support person can benefit any woman.

Interested in hiring a birth doula? A few resources you can find are here:

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