Updated September, 2021
For all that we talk about being pregnant and the process of birth, I feel like we often forget to touch upon the recovery period after birth. That 4th trimester and even into the 1st year are often ignored, or swept under the carpet. I’m here to pick up and shake out that carpet so that you can know you aren’t alone.
Your Body
Regardless of having a vaginal birth or a cesarean section, it’s going to take you a few weeks to recover. And while we are on this topic, can we just name that the whole celebrity bouncing back and looking like a supermodel the day after giving birth is unrealistic and inappropriate? Take some time to heal! You just spent the last year growing and then birthing a human. Maybe give yourself more than three days before you are off and running.
What's Happening in There?
By the time you have given birth, your uterus has grown significantly in order to accommodate your human. So now that you have given birth, your uterus has to shrink back down again. You know right after birth when the dock was massaging your stomach in that awful way? They were helping this process along. You can do, by gently but firmly pushing down on your uterus and rubbing and massaging it.
Healing the Body
Be it vaginal birth, c-section, tears, or episiotomies, you might be a bit sore. Every woman is different, so I’m not going to tell you which type of birth takes more times to heal from. I will say this, you can make your body worse if you don’t take it easy! Avoid lifting heavy objects, and continue working that log roll while your abdomen muscles close up again. Avoid stairs for a few weeks if you can. No crunches for sure. And if something hurts, Stop!
If you gave birth vaginally and tore a bit, you might be extra tender down there and as much as you want to sit down, it kind of, well, hurts. I found this little booty donut was helpful for the first few weeks after giving birth, even if I felt a little silly. If you gave birth via c-section you may be advised not to drive for up to two weeks. Either way, plan to ask your friends and family for help with food, driving, and even childcare if this isn’t your first.
Drink a lot of water in your first few weeks and do your best to eat well. This nutrition is good for you and baby. For some women, breastfeeding helps them lose weight too, and it is said to flush hormones faster and help your uterus shrink down as well.
Long Term Shape
In case you need a reminder, you very possibly just gave birth. So this post here is about getting back in shape and finding happiness with your post pregnancy body down the line. Most certainly NOT in the first 6-12 weeks. You really should talk with your doctor before you resume regular physical activity.
Eventually, once you’ve adjusted to your life plus 1 (or more, I suppose), you might want to start to get fit again. Get the okay from your doctor, and if possible, have them check for any abdominal separation if appropriate. Then ease back in. If something feels wrong, stop and seek the opinion of a medical professional.
I always like to tell women to involve your baby in your workout to make it more fun! You don’t need fancy equipment or to go to a gym, just do some baby squats. Fun for you and fun for your littley.
I’m also going to place doing Kegels in this category. Kegels are an exercise used to maintain and strengthen your pelvic floor (and yes, I’ll just use this paragraph as a reminder to do them while I type!). Doing kegels now (and probably for the rest of our lives) can help prevent urinary incontinence. Take the time to look up how to do them properly and then practice them whenever you think of it.
Your Mind
Feeling a bit weepy lately? Along with physical stuff you no longer need to incubate a baby (such as your uterus being huge), you are also shedding hormones like crazy and gaining new ones. This might mean you suffer from bouts of crying, you have fears that you know are irrational, or you just simply aren’t feeling like yourself. In fact, watch out for crazy night sweats! I’ve heard that this is your body’s way of rapidly shedding those hormones.
Healing the Mind
I genuinely believe that the body heals faster than the mind. Perhaps that’s because as a culture we value the physical over the mental so much. I find talking to other people, especially adults, is huge. Find other parents, take time to process your experience. Birth, for all that it is common, is a huge experience.
If you find that it has been a number of weeks and you are still not feeling better, it may be appropriate to seek professional help. When my postpartum depression hit, I finally took the time to talk to my doctor about it. She prescribed me some medication in the short run and a great therapist in the long run. And to say I’m a big fan of therapy would be an understatement.
Your Family
No matter what happened, your family simply looks different now than it did before. You have a new child. Maybe you have older kids, maybe you have a partner. This adjustment is going to affect your relationship with your whole family.
A New Mom, A New You
You did it, you are officially a parent. Well done. Now for the next years of your life you get to decide what that means for you. How do you want to parent? Do you feel good about this transition? You don’t have to decide right now who you are, but expect to feel different from before you gave birth. Your priorities might change, or your passions, or even the way you allocate your free time. The you from a year ago and the you today though, they aren’t the same person.
Your Partner
If you have a partner, they too have a changing role in this family dynamic. In fact, your whole relationship will likely change. Talk about what co-parenting looks like, how they are feeling, and how they can help support you. One of the truest tests of a relationship is becoming parents together.
A subset of this section is sex. Many people want to know when they can have it again. Usually, you can have sex around 6 weeks, but you should receive the okay from your doctor. Now just because you can have sex doesn’t mean you have to. Some new parents don’t want to, either because they are still recovering from birth, because they don’t want to get pregnant again, or they simply don’t have time. Make sure you are ready, remember lube is your friend, and if anything hurts, stop.
My greatest point to this whole post is that the first months after giving birth are big. You have gone through a huge experience that is life changing and transformative. Don’t feel like you have to rush away from it, or ‘bounce back’. Take your time. Rest, nap with your baby. If you can afford it, take some time off work. Take this first year as your best chance to bond with your baby and grow anew, both as a parent and as a family. Eat well, stay hydrated, take care of yourself. Really take the time to recover.
The main focus in your immediate postpartum is to take care of yourself. Make sure you attend your six week check up and get plenty of rest. I know that sounds impossible with your newborn’s sleep patterns, but the happier and healthier you are, the better off your new baby will be.
