Updated September, 2021
I’ve had a lot of people tell me that I’m not your “typical” parent. I do things with my kids that a lot of adults don’t. And they are things that I have always done, even since Monster was a tiny baby. Here is my list of 8 so called “unusual” things that I do with my kids.
1. Read everyday
I read to my kiddos every single day. We read children’s books, chapter books, books that I’m reading. It doesn’t matter what it is, I make sure to share that time every single day. Before naps, before bedtime, in the middle of the day. We go to the library regularly in order to get more books too. For their baby shower, instead of getting cards, I asked all of our guests to bring books. It worked, and was perfect for getting a beautiful at home library started. My hope is that through sharing the joys of reading as a baby, they will enjoy reading when they are older as well.
2. Talk all the time
I probably sound like a crazy person to other people when I’m walking around my house with my kid on my hip and narrating every single thing I’m doing. And I mean everything. Walking into another room, getting something out of the fridge, observing anything that my little ones are looking at. Sometimes I even start rambling in Spanish, just to expose their ear to a different language. I know that talking will help develop their vocabulary.
3. Tell them "all done"
One of my kid’s first words was “all done”. That’s because I use that phrase all the time. After changing their britches, after eating, when I need them to stop doing something; if there is an occasion to use it, I will. Through using all done, From a very young age my children were able to express when they were done with something, which I believe prevented a lot of melt downs. Even if I have to do something they don’t like, such as put cream on a sore bottom, as soon as I am finished, I tell them all done so they know that the discomfort has come to an end. It lends them a sense of awareness as to what is happening, and when very young it provided them with the ability to express their needs also.
4. Do projects and play
I am always on the lookout for fun, simple things to do with my kids. Whether it’s making play dough or just stacking blocks, it’s important for me to get on the floor and actually play and engage with them. I track their developmental progress pretty closely to ensure that I am always appropriately challenging them.
5. Wash their hands
You would wish more people did this, but they really don’t. We are big hand washers at our house. When I pick my kids up, especially when they were really young, I won’t even touch them until I’ve washed my hands. When we get home from work or school, the first thing we do is wash our hands. This basic hygiene is pretty important to us. As a result, we pass it on to our children as well. Upon arriving at school, after meals, even before bed, we wash hands. And I’m not talking about taking a wash cloth or a wet wipe and going over their fingers. I stick their little hands in running water, use soap, the whole deal. The kids really likes washing their hands actually.
6. Let them pick their clothes
I don’t pick my kid’s clothes for them, not even when they were just tiny babies. I offer them as many opportunities as I can to decide for themselves, including deciding on food, clothing, and toys. I want to give them choices so they can feel empowered and autonomous in small, safe ways. When they were really little and didn’t have the hand control, I would hold out two choices for them to pick from and whichever one they looked at the longest was the one we went with. Now they know the routine and easily pick out whatever they want to wear.
7. Ask to pick them up
Unless it is a dangerous situation, I ask my children if I can pick them up. Even when they were so tiny they could barely respond, I still asked permission. I would wait until they moved their arms or squirmed or showed some sign of accepting the transition. I want them to know that their body is theirs and they are under no obligation to let anyone touch them, even family members. Honestly, it is rare that my kid’s will say no, but they know they always have the option.
8. Let them be upset
This doesn’t mean I make them cry it out or leave them unattended on the floor while they are screaming or anything. I mean that if being upset is how they feel, I don’t tell them they have to stop. I wasn’t always this way. I used to tell Monster “you’re fine” or “pull yourself together” all the time. Crying wasn’t acceptable and if they were crying either I had to fix it or they needed to get over it. Now however, I have decided that my kids are just as entitled to their feelings as I am. So if they are upset, I acknowledge their feelings. “I hear you are very angry that I’m not picking you up right now.” Sometimes I will explain why and give something for the future, such as “my hands are full right now but when I’m done I would love to pick you up.” And of course, I always give choices, “You have to be in your car seat to go in the car, so I’m going to buckle you in. I hear that you would rather I hold you right now. It’s okay if you want to keep crying and are still upset. Here is a bear, which you are welcome to cuddle and play with instead if you would like.” The point is that any time I’ve ever cried in my life, I can’t think of someone ignoring my feelings as being helpful, so why would I think that would be the case for my child?
