Updated October, 2021
Before I became a parent, I promised my child that I would be different from your stereotypical parent. Being a new mom came with a lot of unknown territory. Now that Monster has been more, I want to reflect on some first year experiences. Not losing myself was very important to me, and still is. That doesn’t mean I didn’t have to make a few changes and have some new experiences.
1. Breastfeeding
Breastfeeding is obviously new because I’ve never done it before. The big thing about it though is the round the clock care that goes into it. Monster is currently eating between every 3-5 hours, with occasional growth spurts that result in their being hungry every 1-2 hours (or at least wanting the comfort that comes with breastfeeding). Even if I’m not at home, I have to pump any time Monster would theoretically be eating just to ensure I keep my supply up. This takes a lot of time out of my day. It also ensures that there are few things I can do for more than a few hours at a time before I either need to pump or feed my little one.
That being said, I want to mention that I still think breastfeeding is infinitely easier than formula feeding. At least I don’t also have to figure out how to warm up bottles or carry a bulky bag full of supplies.
2. Bedtime
I was always the type to like a routine anyway, but I am much more attached to my routine than I used to be. For the sake of sleep and getting Monster to sleep well and through the night, I’ve been thinking about good routines and practices from the day they were born. As they get older though, I find I have to hold those routines more strictly. This means that unless Monster is with a babysitter, we have to be home by bedtime. No more staying out until 1 am playing board games or chilling at the arcade. That, or Monster can’t come with us.
3. Planning and Communication
My partner and I didn’t live together prior to Monster’s arrival. This meant that the extent of our planning and communication was deciding when to hang out a few times each week. Beyond that, what I did on my time was my business and what he did on his was his business. Now we share calendars and make plans and have to communicate a lot more. We have to account for Monster’s care every minute of every day, so we need to know what we are doing and who will be taking care of Monster in the event that one of us has plans. It has been easy so far, but it certainly involves a lot more communication than was previously required of us. It has certainly changed out relationship.
4. Reading
This one is my own fault, but I don’t care. I love reading. Given the chance, I would probably read a new book every month. Now though, my reading focus has changed. Instead of reading for myself, I am reading for Monster. It feels more important to expose them to books and instill a love of reading in them than it is for me to catch up on the latest novel available. So every time I pick up a book lately, it isn’t a novel, but a short, adorable story full of pictures.
5. Productivity
I’m normally a very productive individual. I enjoy my down time, don’t get me wrong, but I like feeling like I get things done. This means that I often get off work and have a list of things to accomplish when I get home. While I’m still trying to accomplish things, I really only do so while Monster is sleeping. When Monster is awake, all I want to do is hang out and engage with them. I’m sure this will shift a little bit as Monster gets older, but for right now, I want to spend their awake time with them. As such, there are a lot of things that I don’t get done, or aren’t done as fast. But my priorities have shifted so that I’m okay with not spending as much of my free time on me stuff.
Update from and Old Mama
One of my favorite things about being the author of a long time blog is that I get to look back at old blogs and get snapshots of where I was, mentally and emotionally, in time. Now I have Monster and Rainbow Sprinkle, currently 2 and 4. I have a few more words of wisdom as a result of my more seasoned parenting experience.
The Routine Pays Off
You know how earlier I was talking about strict bedtime routines and not being able to stay out all night anymore? Well I just have to say, the routine in the early years pays off. Now my children are both very flexible, and if we go to bed a little late, or stay out extra long, there aren’t a lot of extra meltdowns and bedtime isn’t significantly more difficult.
All Things Pass
There are things I love and things I hate about every age. In the first year, there is lots of love for watching my human grow, but sometimes it’d be nice to talk with them. Now both of my children talk, and I love the clear communication. With talking comes an assertion of opinions and independence though. At this risk of sounding cliche, they really do grow fast. So take the time to appreciate what you love. And those things that are difficult for you now? Those too shall pass.
Find a Work/Life Balance
Monster will start school next August. Like school, school. The kind where they get on a bus and get taken away and have homework and such. Real school. Anyway, my point is that once they are in school, the middle of the year vacations, the random days off for fun, those things start to fade away. So find a healthy, reasonable work/life balance now, where you get to see your children grow up, not just for dinner and bed at the end of every day. They are going to grow whether you are there or not.
