A Home Birth

Updated December, 2020

I feel like every woman has a story or at least some feelings about giving birth. Our society is riddled with stories of hospital births, births gone wrong, and the pain of childbirth. I wanted to share my personal birthing story with women considering having a home birth so that you can make the choice for yourself. A hospital birth isn’t for everyone, and I highly encourage every woman to look into home birth.

In 1991 my mother gave birth to me at home. For whatever reason, that has always been a large part of my identity and a story I asked my mother to repeat multiple times growing up (she didn’t provide a lot of details, but I liked to be reminded anyway). So when I found out I was expecting it was never a question for me. I was going to have a home birth. I looked at probably ten to fifteen midwives in my area, interviewed five of them, and narrowed it down to two. Ultimately, it was the level of experience, the confidence, and the ability to manage emergencies that helped me make the final decision for my midwives.

Having a home birth was important to me. I spent the next months preparing in any way that I could think of. I attended regular appointments with my midwives, did my best to eat well (admittedly with mixed results), and tried to stay active and healthy. I had one brief scare when my monster went breach, but within two weeks they had flipped back around and was head down and ready to go.

Early on the morning of May 9^th, my water broke. This meant that the clock had started ticking. I had 24 hours to go into active labor or I would have to go to a hospital. I spent most of the day wrapping up things for work, napping, and basically just waiting around. Nothing happened. I didn’t have one single contraction and I started getting nervous. I couldn’t imagine giving birth in a hospital.

With some amazing advice from my midwife, we were able to start labor naturally. I had my first contraction at 11:45pm. Labor came on fast from that point on. First it was contractions every four to five minutes, and then around 3:00am it abruptly escalated to active labor. My partner called my midwife and when she arrived and checked my cervix, I was already 6 centimeters dilated.

Looking back now at my photos, my birth wasn’t as smooth and well handled as I always dreamed it would be. I yelled, I think I cried, “No” was chanted through more than one contraction, and overall I was probably not the best patient my midwives had ever had. Yet even knowing that maybe I wasn’t the picture of calm grace I had hoped to be, I still wouldn’t change a thing. I had a team of people with me that made me feel safe and loved. I was never once self conscious or worried. I was never pressured to do something I didn’t feel comfortable with. I felt every miraculous feeling this experience had to offer me. When I felt like it was time to push, I told my midwife. She said she would check my cervix again, but ultimately, I should listen to what my body was telling me. It was the most empowering experience I had ever had.

During early labor, my best friend sat upstairs with me and I walked through my contractions in my dimly lit living room. Between contractions, I sat back down and took little power naps. I drank water and ate (minimally) to help build up my strength. I was able to labor on my couch, in bed, in the bathroom, and in a birthing pool. If I wasn’t comfortable in any one position, I was given the freedom and mobility to adjust in whatever way felt best for my body.

I love water and always have. So towards the end of my labor, my midwives asked if I wanted to get into the birthing pool. I shuffled into the pool and as soon as I was submerged, every muscle in my body relaxed. I transitioned into a completely different mindset and felt ready in a way I hadn’t before. I sang a soft song, gave myself and my monster a pep-talk, and felt their little head crowning. My partner joined me in the pool and within a few pushes, my monster was born. They had ten perfect fingers and ten perfect toes. I was handed my baby immediately.

From the moment Monster was born, they were with me or my partner. My midwives transitioned me out of the pool (after reminding me to deliver my placenta) and into bed. We delayed cord clamping and Monster joined me in bed as soon as I was settled (my partner carried them). They checked both me and my little one in a very non-invasive way to ensure that we were both healthy and safe. Upon request, I was able to shower that same morning and every moment with my baby was skin to skin, gentle, and completely loving. My midwives started a load of laundry, cleaned up in the house, helped me breastfeed for the first time, and brought me food and water.

I don’t remember every second of my labor. There are a few I look back upon and smile at, such as swearing not to call my midwife when I transitioned into active labor (my partner called for me), laboring on the toilet because I was sure I had to poop (as my midwife reminded me, I was actually having a baby), and freaking out and backing out of pushing mid contraction when Monster first started to crown. I look back and know I was safe for every moment, with either my partner or my best friend with me for every breath and contraction. With more than competent midwives monitoring and supporting me, and the natural ability to listen to my body and do what I needed to do.

I can’t imagine having that type of experience in a hospital. Would I have been able to move around or would I have been strapped in place or at least with limited mobility due to monitoring mechanisms? Would they have been able to dim the lights? Would I have been able to give birth in a pool? From the moment Monster was born, they were handled with nothing but love, care, and caution. They were held by people who had been working with them and me for months leading up to their birth.

Being pregnant and giving birth is a natural, beautiful thing. There are certainly instances when hospital intervention is needed, but it isn’t for every birth. There was pain, yes, but a different type from anything I had ever experienced before. Most of all, when it was over, I felt so empowered and grateful. As a society, we talk about how awful and scary giving birth is, but that wasn’t my experience at all. I wonder if we stopped telling women they aren’t capable of giving birth if things would shift and more women would feel comfortable giving birth at home. I would certainly suggest it for every woman.

Common Home Birth Questions

How much does it cost to have a home birth?

The exact cost of a homebirth is going to vary by state and by midwife. I paid $3,700 for my homebirth. One important thing to note is that I have yet to come across an insurance agency that will pay for a homebirth. What is more, even if you do have one, the coverage is so few and far between that it is equally unlikely that your midwife will accept insurance. So be prepared to pay out of pocket. Additionally, if you have to go to the hospital or you transfer care at the last minute, it is unlikely that you will receive a refund.

What are some things you had to do to prepare your home for a homebirth?

My midwife provided me with a birthing kit check list where I was responsible for sourcing a number of non-medical materials that might be used during or after labor. This was anything from large towels I would be okay with ruining, a stethoscope for monitoring baby after birth, a thermometer, and even flannel backed table cloths (to keep my bed from getting ruined).
Any of the medical types of supplies my midwife brought herself.
Also, this one may seem small, but much of my labor was spent outside of the birthing tub. Part of that was because my partner forgot to turn up the water heater when I went into labor. So this meant they actually boiled water on my stove to fill my birthing pool. A tiny thing, but turn up your water heater if you are planning to use a birthing pool.
Oh! The birthing pool! I rented one from my midwife. This was not a covered part of the birthing package and thus was an additional charge but it was amazing.

What are a few pros and cons of homebirth?

I will admit in advance that this list will be heavily skewed towards pros for me because I am very pro-homebirth. Pros include not having to follow unnecessary rules such as immediate cord clamping and being separated from my baby. I got to have immediate skin to skin, I had the environment I was most comfortable in, and no driving was involved. I was empowered to trust my body and my medication free birth was never artificially rushed along to meet someone else’s timeline. Because I had spent months building rapport with my midwives I always felt seen, supported, and trusted. Also, even though my water broke, I was able to spend the day eating, resting, and relaxing which helped prepare me for a successful birth. 100% everything about my experience after giving birth was positive as well. Holding Monster right away, being escorted to bed, support with nursing, and even delayed cord clamping. My house was magically cleaned up, a load of laundry started, and a light snack placed by my bedside table. Most of all, because my midwives viewed this experience and process as mine, I was treated like an equal the entire time. Instead of being told what decisions should be made, I was provided education and information so that I could make my own informed choices.
The greatest con I see is that if anything goes wrong, you are not already at a hospital. That’s it…

Is a homebirth safe?

Yes! I fully believe homebirth attended by a midwife is completely safe. They will automatically opt you out if you are high risk, but overall I feel that it is an empowering and completely safe experience.

Get answers to more Common Homebirth Questions here.