Working After a Baby

Updated October, 2021

After you give birth, there are a lot of questions around work. When do you go back to work? Do you go back to work? Is the cost worth the time? I know a of individuals don’t have a choice about going back to work after having a baby. But is it the right thing for you and your family, especially in that first year?

When to Go Back to Work

If you had a job previously, you may be disappointed to learn that you really don’t have a lot of say around when you go back to work. The type of job, years you’ve been there, and even the state you live in say a lot more about your options. Many (not even going to say most here) jobs will grant 6 weeks of leave. Sometimes that is paid leave, sometimes it is not.

You get the most out of your leave by talking with your HR department and your supervisor. You likely qualify for short term disability, which will cover a percentage of your paycheck. Then you will want to use any paid time off you have, often starting with sick time. If you have worked at your job long enough, you should qualify for FMLA. All of these things need to be put into writing with both HR and your supervisor though.

Now perhaps you want to go back to work, but not full time? I know that was something I eased back into. Discuss your options for time off, or an altered return to work schedule with your company. Maybe you start back slowly, first 2, then 3 days a week. Maybe you only work 4 days a week for a few month.

How to Go Back To Work

Going back to work isn’t as simple as just leaving home and starting back up again. You need childcare (link to childcare coming Fall, 2022). You need baby supplies. You need sleep!

Okay, so let’s talk about the most pressing, childcare. If you or someone in your family isn’t going to stay home with your child, you need to find solid, reliable, high quality child care. Now I have a whole post about selecting a childcare center here (link coming fall, 2022) so you can peruse that to help you find a good place. Most importantly, you want to be sure wherever you send your baby, you feel they will be safe and the school has the hours that you need covered.

While your child is at school, they are going to need bottles for milk, be it formula or breast milk. They are also going to need extra clothing supplies (link to adorable matching outfits coming Spring 2023) to leave at school. Now most schools should pretty well provide everything else that you need. If you are going to breastfeed, you will need a breast pump and a space to do so at work. Ideally you have a private office or access to a lactation room.

Finally, you may need to talk with your supervisor around setting realistic expectations. We can’t expect your baby to be sleeping through the night before 6 months, which means you might be more tired than usual. Set appropriate boundaries, both with your job and your partner, to ensure that you can show up appropriately.

Do You Go Back to Work

Now here is the big question. Do you even go back to work? Is it feasible, does it feel right, is it even affordable?

Do not underestimate the cost of child care. It can be expensive enough that you are barely taking home more than you are paying. Or maybe the cost of child care is even more than what you would take home. In those instances, you have to heavily weigh your options and often, going back to work doesn’t make sense.

Another significant factor is time. Some jobs don’t fall within normal 9-5 working hours, which means childcare that is maybe only offered from 8-6 won’t work for you. So now you have to either find a new job, or stay home with your little peanut.

Beyond childcare time, it’s also about how you want to spend your time. The first years of your child’s life are huge. They are making leaps and bounds and some parents hate the idea of missing those milestones. If you are going to beat yourself up about not being there, or it’s just going to stress you out and make you sad, maybe you explore options to stay home.

The point is, for all that we talk about going back to work, its important that sometimes it doesn’t make sense to do so.

My Personal Story

A lot of people asked me how I went about returning to my job after having a baby. So this is my story, both to give you an idea of some time off options, as well as some additional food for thought.

I went back to work part time around 4 weeks post partum. I only had to be in the office two days a week. Then for around 3 months I worked 3 days a week. Finally, for about 4 months (when I finally ran out of paid time off) I only worked 4 days a week. Now this was my office job, so when I gave birth to Monster. After I had Sprinkle, I took a full 6 weeks off (seeing as 4 of those weeks were in the NICU, that felt fair) then went back to work 4 days a week. Seeing a pattern here? Yeah, I’m not a big 5 day a week worker, not gonna lie.

Now when I first went back to work after having Monster, I sort of felt bad. Not because I missed Monster, but because I didn’t. I mean sure, of course I wanted to be with my little one, and I was always excited to get home for the day, but it was also really nice to get out of the house again, have my social time, see people and have a different type of purpose. I’ve always been very dedicated to my job and I don’t have a drive that matches that sense of accomplishment at home. So the first few weeks back, getting out of the house two days per week and really getting things done was nice.

Then the honeymoon period started to wear off. Instead of feeling driven, I was feeling overwhelmed. It felt like I didn’t have anywhere near enough time in a single day to do everything that needed to get done. So instead of feeling refreshed with my time away from home, I felt rushed and like I was spinning in circles. I can spend a whole day doing nothing but answering e-mails, not even touching my actual job.

I think what really brought things crashing down for me though was daycare. I wanted Monster in daycare. I thought they would benefit from the social aspect of it. I wanted them to have fun and have friends and be stimulated beyond what we provided at home. So I picked out the perfect daycare and was sure I would be content. Then I had to actually drop them off at daycare. Leading up to that first day, I was a mess. No one in the world could possibly be more qualified to take care of my baby than I was, so how could I leave them there? Worse yet, they were going to be there for so long!

And then let’s talk about the cost! Good god, childcare where I live is expensive, especially for high quality. So I had to weigh my job against the expense of childcare. Now to be clear, I would probably always have my children in some form of childcare, even if it were just a few days a week. I have a job that pays me enough that I can own a house and live the lifestyle I want. My work was never just a job though. I’ve always enjoyed it and given it 110%. Since Monster’s birth though, I don’t feel that way anymore. I don’t stay late or volunteer my time for free. My priority is my little one.

Then we added in Rainbow Sprinkle to the mix. Now the cost was starting to tip the scales. I think I make $50 a month more at my job than we pay for my children to go to school. So not really worth it. Recently, I’ve promised my ex that if he buys me an 8 seat vehicle I’ll keep the kids at home and we will still save a ton of money.

So just remember there are always a lot of factors around the decision to return to work or not. Never underestimate how big or difficult of a decision this may be. No one but you and your family can decide what is right for you.