Updated October, 2021
Ah sleep, that beautiful elusive creature that dances just out of reach in the first year of your child’s life. At around 6 months you think, this is going to work out. Tiny is starting to sleep through the night. 7 months comes along and you’ve fallen into a blissful routine of sleep every night. Then BAM!, 8 months hits and all of a sudden, Junior is waking up every 3 hours again. What’s going on? Folks, let me introduce you to the 8 month sleep regression.
What to Expect
Sleep for every child is very important. Around 6 months your child is developmentally capable of sleeping through the night. If you are lucky, that means you have had a few months of good sleep. Unfortunately, just when you think you have got this sleep thing figured out, the 8 (or 9) month sleep regression hits.
This sleep regression can be something small, like waking up unexpectedly at 2 am. More often than not, it is a full deterioration, waking up every 2-3 hours through the night. For parents that just started to get used to full nights of sleep, this can feel extra rough.
Sleep Training According to Me
Now I personally use the term ‘Sleep Training’ to describe working with your child in any form to help them learn healthy sleep hygiene. Ultimately, this will look like them sleeping through the night without problem. To be very clear, Sleep Training, as defined by me, is NOT the cry it out method.
Sleep training is about balancing appropriate developmental expectations with the needs of your child. It is about being responsive and supportive. Most of all, it is about helping you move towards a sleep routine that makes sense for you and your family.
What to Do
With Monster, I was stumped. Their regression hit around 8.5 months and it was terrible. We had been sleeping so well until that point. They started waking up every morning at 2:00 am, screaming to be fed. They had hit a growth spurt and had started crawling, so I thought that was why they were hungry. I wasn’t entirely wrong.
The 8 month sleep regression takes place because of your child’s new mobility. They are probably crawling more, have excellent head control, might be pulling up and even trying to walk. It is completely normal, even if it sucks.
They be Lying! (It isn't hunger)
I was really worried at Monster’s regression. Their hunger at night seemed genuine. How could I refuse my baby food? They didn’t use the breast to fall asleep, so it wasn’t obviously a sleep crutch. At the 4 month sleep regression, we got through it by leaning into it and behaving the way we did before they had started sleeping well through the night. This had worked well then, so we tried the same thing for the 8 month sleep regression. It didn’t work.
Monster was 9 months old by the time we finally resolved the sleep regression. That means two very, very long weeks of trying to help them sleep through the night and failing. I finally talked with our family care doctor at our 9 month checkup and she reassured me that while Monster was acting hungry, they really were capable of sleeping through the night.
So what did that leave us to do?
A Change of Pace (Time for some help)
For us, it was changing our response. Monster was developing a habit. As the person who always took care of Monster at night, they had come to associate my night visits with a little snack. So at 9 months, I was done and it was time for my partner to officially step up. I told him I wasn’t going to take care of Monster at night anymore. After 3 nights with my partner, Monster remembered how to sleep and the night waking stopped.
Avoid Bad Habits
This approach isn’t going to work for everyone. Some people bottle feed, some people don’t have a second adult to support them, any myriad of reasons could prevent this particular approach from being successful. Most of what I can say is avoid developing a bad habit at this point. It’s easy to want to give your child a bottle or the breast to sooth them back to sleep, especially when it’s 2 in the morning. Habits are much easier to develop than they are to break though.
Instead of a night feeding, try walking with them for a little bit, rocking them, or humming a song. As a rule of thumb, everything we do for night waking is done in the dark. We never turn lights on, and I try not to talk at all, beyond gentle shushing. The atmosphere of the house should be kept calm and sleepy as much as possible.
Plan to work with your child for a few days at this new routine. Remember, sleeping is something we have to learn. It takes time and practice. Helping your child learn to sleep now will set them up for successful sleeping later on in life though. It’ll be worth it.
Sleep Help!
Need support with getting your child on the right track for sleep? View my Postpartum Doula page where I can offer sleep training for you and your family, including a night’s reprieve if you just need some time to catch up.
