Updated September, 2021
You are going to go the doctor more in the first year of your baby’s life than you’ve probably been in the last ten of yours. That may be an exaggeration, but honestly I felt like I was there all the time. To be fair, we not only had an altered vaccination schedule, we also got pink eye and the flu in our first year because we went to school. Then with Rainbow Sprinkle, we were in the NICU for a month and had all sorts of appointments we had to attend to monitor their health and development. So lots of visits added up. Any halfway decent insurance company should have all wellness visits and vaccinations paid for, so you should be able to attend without financial worry.
Picking Your Doctor
In theory you will have picked your doctor before you have given birth. My personal experience was a little different because I had a midwife and all of my appointments were with her before Monster’s birth. Monster didn’t even go see a doctor that wasn’t my midwife until they were 8 weeks old. If you are having a home birth ask your midwife for a recommendation. Some doctors will not be on board with waiting 8 weeks to see your new gem. Most want to see them within a few days of you giving birth, then again at 2 weeks and 6 weeks.
What to Look For
The most important thing in a doctor, in my opinion, is feeling comfortable. You have to feel comfortable talking to them about all of your needs and issues. You have to feel heard and listened to and respected. No one wants to stumble their way through a health need, or feel railroaded into making a decision they don’t agree with.
Before you pick a doctor, take a moment to think about what sort of roll your doctor will play in your family’s life and what sort of parent you want to be. You have to be sure you know what you want in regards to vaccinations, breast feeding, and possible developmental delays. If you really want to breastfeed and your doctor doesn’t support that, then you may be on your own if you face nursing problems. On the other hand, if you want to formula feed, you don’t need your doctor to make you feel bad every time you are in their office. Things like that.
You should be able to meet your doctor before you officially decide to go with them. If they can’t make time for that, they may be too busy to really serve your family. Make a list of questions around what you feel is most important so that you can be sure the two of you are on the same page around care for your child
Pediatrician
Your pediatrician is your young child doctor only. They specialize in working with children and that is their focus. These offices are often more friendly towards young children with entertaining waiting rooms and gimicks to make going to the doctor more enjoyable.
Family Doctor
Your family doctor can see everyone in your family, child and adult. This can be a nice one stop shop for the whole family. Your child will never ‘age out’ of this type of doctor. They sometimes have less child friendly facilities or more bland waiting rooms as the trade off.
If you are asking for my personal opinion (and you are reading my blog, so I think you are) I would go family doctor, all the way. Even something as simple as Monster having pink eye and then passing it to Dad. They were both able to be seen and prescribed in the same appointment.
Vaccinations
Oh hey, just stopping in here with super controversial topics, such as vaccinations. Here is the deal, there is all sorts of science and misinformation out there about vaccinations and in truth, I doubt that anything I have to say will change anyone’s mind. However, I think it would be irresponsible of me to not include this topic.
Here is the deal, I am weirdly in both camps. I think vaccines are life saving, vital, and have changed our world for the better. The fact that I don’t have to worry about dying from Polio or Smallpox is proof of that. I also know that out country has led us to a point of inherent mistrust of authority because it is demonstrated again and again that our government really isn’t looking out for our well being. So where does that leave us?
My first point I’m going to throw out there is that more than anything else in the world, more than a fear of being tracked, a fear of a disability, any of those things that you commonly hear about from anti-vax people is my baby needs to be safe. That’s it, that’s the most important point. No other fear is worth the fer of my child contracting a preventable disease and dying. It’s not worth it.
I do, however, advocate for a sort of middle road with vaccinations as well. Instead of getting three or four shots every few months, we went every single month and got just one shot each month. Our doctor created a specific schedule for us that kept us vaccinated safely while not overloading the kid’s systems with too many at once. This altered schedule, while a it more time intensive because we had more visits, felt much more reasonable to my family. Note, however, that an altered schedule could put your child at risk for catching a preventable disease, especially if you live in one of those pockets where a lot of people don’t vaccinate (I’m looking at you Boulder).
So talk to your doctor about vaccinations, and make sure you all have the same expectations. Hear what your options are, get educated, and frankly, get vaccinated.
Your First Visit
Your first visit is going to be like any first visit at a doctor. Make sure your bring your child’s insurance card, think about family history, and plan for your child to be poked at least once. This is a great time to set the experience at a doctor’s off to a positive start. I personally breastfed Monster through their heel poke. When they received vaccinations I quickly soothed with the boob as well. Now Monster fusses after a vaccination for a minute, but as soon as I pick them up, they are fine.
Expect to spend a longer time talking with your doctor about wants and needs. They likely will ask after your health a bit as well, casually screening for postpartum depression or other needs you might have. They will coach you through of those new parent worries and should have lots of resources for any support you might need.
I know it’s a cliche, but be sure to write down any questions you might have developed, both for this first appointment and for all subsequent appointments. I often go in with a list, and if your doctor won’t make time to answer all your questions, get a new doctor.
Future Visits
Always plan to arrive a little early for your visits. If your child is feeling fussy or grumpy that day, make sure to bring something to entertain them, such as a book or a toy. Not all offices are super kid friendly.
If you have an alternative vaccination schedule, don’t expect to see the doctor every time. Vaccinations are often given by nurses or assistants and take less than 10 minutes.
The visit itself is usually full of questions and answers. They will measure your baby’s weight, height, and head circumference. They will also ask key developmental questions, such as your child responding to their name, walking, talking, etc.
This is a great time for you to ask your questions as well. And trust me, write them down. You think you will remember, but you might not. And not the night before you are planning to go. I keep a running note in my cell phone for any questions that I have from the minute I leave their office until I return again. The only questions I don’t wait on are time sensitive ones, such as immediate health concerns.
In all, visiting the doctor can and should be a pleasant experience for you and your child.
